You’re not different - you’re a douchebag.

In Atlantic City this past weekend, I patronized my favorite casino - Harrahs - for the WSOP Circuit Tour.  I went last December as well to take part in some of the many tournaments that are running for about 16 days or so.  Other than the fact that I’ve come to the conclusion that live tournaments are for people who completely don’t value their time, I took a closer look at what every guy in the casino was wearing.

Leaving out the older guys 45 and up, 73% of everyone old enough to gamble and beyond had one or more of the following on their t-shirt/hooded sweatshirt/baseball hat/and God-forbid-dress-shirt:

• skulls
• wings
• hearts on fire
• scabbards
• ‘Affliction’
• tigers and/or jaguars
• skulls with top hats
• scabbards going through skulls in top hats
• tribal/tattoo art trailing up the collar-shoulder-sleeve
• playing card suits (diamonds/spades/hearts/clubs)
• snakes
• Ed Hardy

It would be too easy to point to Christian Audigier’s line as the main reason for everyone’s blind stupidity of this relatively new trend of 1+ years, but it’s not his fault. OK, maybe it is…but it’s just this type of design that has permeated the lobotomized-conscious of men’s clothing to the point of comedy. It’s everywhere.  It’s supposed to make you look cool, badass, hip, angry, aggressive, different…but it does exactly the opposite.  It makes you look like a douchebag.  A big fat unimaginative sheep of a doucheman.  I didn’t see too many women with it on, but maybe it’s on their panties.  I don’t know; don’t care.  Disclaimer: if girls walked around with their panties exposed and had skulls engulfed in flames on them, I’d probably think it was pretty hot because of the exposed crotch…not the fiery skulls.  But they don’t, so if they do, they’re just secret douchebags.

So next time you want to look cool playing $1-$2 No-Limit Hold ‘em, wear a black t-shirt.  Trust me.